Once a Pioneer, Always a Pioneer!

My passion for softball has always been questioned throughout my career. “It’s only a game,” I’d always hear from friends, teachers, and even some of my family. I knew that no one would ever understand how committed I was to the sport, but it never stopped me from playing. The thought of it ever ending honestly never crossed my mind. Now that I am writing this blog, only hours after the final at-bat of my life, I truly wish I had prepared myself more for this. I cannot promise to keep this entry short, but my hope is to make it worth reading—and maybe even suggesting for others to read as well. I have absolutely loved every opportunity I’ve had to share my senior year with the rest of Pioneer Nation through this blog, and I am so sad that this is the last time I will ever have that privilege. So, as I was saying…

My journey to MidAmerica has been one most people would consider ridiculous, and maybe even “not worth it.” Those people are the ones I hope read this blog the most. I had the opportunity to play for Coach Babs immediately following my sophomore season at Neosho County Community College in 2008, but allowed several outside factors to sway me a different way: returning home to Oklahoma and giving up my last 2 seasons of collegiate softball eligibility. Life without softball was ridiculously challenging, for I found myself faced with constant reminders of the player I could have become, the dream I let go of, and the years of dedication that seemingly added up to nothing. I had lost any and all hope once I realized I was in fact never going to step between the white lines again, but God had other plans. Coach Babs contacted me 18 months after my junior college career had ended, and simply asked if I wanted a second chance to return to softball. One semester away from earning my degree in English Education, and away from any and all softball related activities for over a year, I didn’t even hesitate to accept his offer. As most would say, the rest is history. My point in saying all of that, however, is that this was literally the senior year I never thought I would have. Had Babs considered anyone else over me, and contacted her, I may not have dropped my life to finish my dream here at MNU. I may not have been blessed to receive All-American honors as a junior, and be a part of two National Tournament squads. The last two years of my life would not have been what they were had it not been for him simply remembering my name. I will never say that I regret giving up softball back in 2008: a blessing in disguise, so to speak.

Words can never replace the memories I have shared with my teammates not just this season but last year as well. I will never forget the history we made, the records we broke, the tears we cried, or the smiles we induced. I cannot thank each and every one of them enough for the support they provide not just on the field, but in our everyday lives as human beings. Sometimes we forget that there are in fact bigger things in life than striking out with the bases loaded or making an error to prolong an inning. When my grandmother passed away the morning of our game against Graceland University, I was overwhelmed with love and condolences from everyone before, during, and after the game. When I cried after striking out to end the game, our season, and my fellow seniors’ careers tonight, they made sure I knew that I wasn’t crying alone. The best teams are those with the fondest memories outside the lines. How blessed I am to have people who have made saying, “good-bye” so, so hard.

I’m not quite done yet…

As I mentioned earlier, without Babs’ generous offer to give me a second chance at becoming a Pioneer, my days at MNU would be nonexistent. But without Coach Juber, who made the boring drive to Chanute, Kansas to watch my junior college get run-ruled, I doubt Babs would have ever even considered contacting me. Needless to say, God’s timing never failed, and everything fell into place perfectly. Coach Mac has been my emotional rock since Day 1, and I truly believe she never receives the credit she so rightfully deserves for that. I will always refer to Jackie as “the miracle worker,” as she put up with me so much last year with a stupid calf injury. Hopefully I am done for good with crutches, ace wraps, and MRIs. These people have become my friends. They have believed in me every second since I stepped on campus. I know that I never fulfilled every expectation each of them had for me as a player, but I am grateful that they had more faith in me than I could have ever had in myself. Knowing they wanted me to succeed meant everything to me, and I will be eternally appreciative of everything these four have provided me in the short amount of time I have known them.

I want to take the rest of this space to thank my mom and dad for supporting every decision I have ever made in my life. I am unbelievably lucky to have had them there in the stands the past several weeks to see me play. Chad Jenkins and Brett Stillman have been amazing all season long. The hours they devote to MNU Athletics is unreal. I want to thank them for journeying to Alabama with us, and for helping our families stay connected to our games via KMNU, live stats, and video streaming. Dennis Troyer and Lisa Downs—our honorary coaches in my opinion. They do more for us than people give them credit for. I will miss DT’s presence through the loud speakers at our home games, and I am so blessed to have gotten to know Lisa this season as she acted as our Team Chaplain. Brady Braatz was amazing all year helping guide our small group discussions, and Jim Smith went out of his way to provide us with pictures to cherish for the rest of our lives. I cannot end this blog without mentioning all of the families and professors who went above and beyond their duties as fans—the Salter Clan, Alexis’ grandmother’s amazing pastries, Lynsey and Keeley’s dads for making our field look great, Coach Rodden for getting us stronger and quicker, and making us sore in places we never even knew existed, Mike Goff and Kelvin St. John for being our most valuable fans, every family that cooked or paid for a meal this season, my mom and dad for providing money to fund our Cancer Awareness uniforms, our redshirts Laura, Moe, and Britt for their continued support throughout the season, and most importantly, every member of Pioneer Nation. Without the love and support we received from everyone, our season is not nearly as fun to remember. It goes without saying that we love each and every one of you. Thank you for everything!!

Almost done…

Like I said in the beginning, softball has never just been a game to me. For 17 years, it has been all I’ve known, all I’ve cared about, all I’ve ever really wanted to do. As of May 21, 2011, everything I’ve done on the field no longer means what it once did. There is nowhere left for me to go. Believe me, if there was, I’d be the first one to sign up. What I want to believe is that my career didn’t end; I just ran out of time. I can always pick up a glove and play catch with someone. Nothing will ever stop me from taking some cuts in the batting cage. The sport doesn’t leave me just because my time is up. It doesn’t make the pain lessen any, though. I know that I will cry more tears at the thought of tonight’s loss to Cal. Baptist, and the many games I have played in years past. It wouldn’t be so hard to let it go if it was only just a game. Softball has become a part of who I am, almost like a definition of me. I am now left with an identity crisis, so to speak. Who will I become outside of the player I once was? What will I achieve in life that does not come in the form of a trophy, a “gold” medal, an All-American certificate, or a homerun ball? What will I be able to look back on and truly be grateful for that does not involve a motivational speech from a coach, a group of teammates waiting to greet me at home plate after scoring a run, or the simple privilege of being healthy and able to compete at such an elite level? Though right now it is so difficult to comprehend the answers to any of these questions I have for myself, I know that God did not bring me to MidAmerica just to finish my softball career as a Pioneer. There is no way He is finished with me yet, and I am so looking forward to what His future plans for me entail.

I want to end this (for good, I promise) by giving one last shout-out to the Softball Seniors of 2011. I will never look back and smile more than when I think about the last two seasons I was fortunate to play with all of you. I know that your lives will continue to be blessed with health and happiness, and that God will guide you on all of your journeys in life. Our mark has been made, and I firmly believe in my heart that what we have accomplished in our time here at MNU will be forever sought by future Pioneers to come.

“You, O Lord will be my light; by you, my God, the dark will be made bright for me.” –Psalm 18:28

Once a Pioneer, Always a Pioneer!!
Love Always,
Taylor #21

P.S. If you have read this entire blog entry, you rock!!